#005 – Make Them Depend
Create a feeling of dependence. Not he that adorns but he that adores makes a divinity. The wise man would rather see men needing him than thanking him. To keep them on the threshold of hope is diplomatic, to trust to their gratitude boorish; hope has a good memory, gratitude a bad one. More is to be got from dependence than from courtesy. He that has satisfied his thirst turns his back on the well, and the orange once sucked falls from the golden platter into the waste basket. When dependence disappears, good behavior goes with it as well as respect. Let it be one of the chief lessons of experience to keep hope alive without entirely satisfying it, by preserving it to make oneself always needed even by a patron on the throne. But let not silence be carried to excess lest you go wrong, nor let another’s failure to grow incurable for the sake of your own advantage.
There are a million coaches out there. It is up to you to figure out how to make sure they NEED you. Make yourself indisposable. Now, there is some caution with this. Do not do this at the expense of others. If another coach is failing or struggling, do not stand by, just to boost your own standing. Help them out. When players, teams, and other stakeholders start to lose their dependence on you, the niceties and positive behavior begin to wane. Make sure others know and see your value.
This blog series is based on the book “The Art of Worldly Wisdom” by Balthasar Gracián. This book was written for advice on how to achieve personal and professional success. The goal of this blog series is to visit the points of wisdom and put them in the spotlight of the coaching and education lens.
