State of the Universe (2020)

Welcome to the 2020 edition of the State of the Universe.   For those who are unfamiliar with this concept, I would suggest visiting my blog at DanMickle.com and reading the post called “The Day that Changed My Life”.  That gives a little bit of the back story.  A quick note.  I was going to make a podcast to go along with this, but I didn’t.  Oh well!  Enjoy.

It would be easy for me to say this year sucked, and just end it there.  However, I feel this is a chance to go much deeper with things.  First, let’s start with the personal side of the universe.  I would be lying if I said that I didn’t expect to be talking about most of what we are going to go over last January.  The truth is, I saw it coming.  Obviously not all the fine details, but I saw the big picture.  For me, I think this is the curse of meshing my three career fields together.  Technology, psychology, and learning (note, that I did not say education).  I started to see trends in all three that were on a collision path, and this mess became apparent.  The hard part about this year’s State of the Universe is trying to decide if I should discuss things chronologically or topically.  One promise I made to myself was that if I decided to take up this task of writing the SOTU, I would do so spontaneously and organically.  While I do journal and reflect a lot, I was not going to sit down and map it out all and make it nice and neat.  I want it…No I need it to be a reflection of my brain and thought process, which much like scrapple, is a mess, and no one really knows what’s going in it.  If you are not from Pennsylvania and have never heard of scrapple, Google it.  I suggest you do not do it right after you have eaten.  Anyway, back to the point.  There is a very good chance this post/podcast will bounce between timelines and topics.  I just cannot promise it will be coherent.  That is partially due to my COVID recovery.  More on that in a bit.  I think my goal really is to go chronologically for my personal universe, then go topically for the big picture stuff.  If you could care less about my personal aspects of 2020 and just want to skip to the bug picture thoughts, you can skip the next few sections.

So how about we begin in January of 2020.  It is going to be a big year, right?  2020.  20 freaking 20.  No sooner did the ball drop and the talk of how serious this whole COVID-19 thing could begin.  I remember conversations I had with people in the fall of 2019 and they all basically went the same: “The flu is more contagious” and “the flu kills more people per year, we will be fine”.  However, that just did not sit right with me.  At the college, we typically have our spring season in late March and April.  That lets us travel if we can for spring break scrimmages, and it just fits life easier.  I just had a bad feeling about COVID, so in December of 2019, I changed our spring season to begin Feb 3.  That was the earliest we could start.  That would have us ending around March 10.  That moved paid off.  We finished our spring season on March 10^th.  By March 15^th, the state was shutting everything down.  There were a lot of schools in our conference (both old and new conferences) that did not get to have a spring season at all.  I spent my last day of “freedom” in one of my favorite places during the winter.  I went skiing.  Had I known that this would be the last day of the year, I would have stayed longer.  I was banking on the fact that I had at least one more weekend.  It didn’t work out that way.  I am glad I talked myself into going on March 13^th.  Roundtop would close the next day for the season.

The other major decision we made was to prep the house for homeschooling.  The kids were coming home for spring break (or whatever they call it in elementary and secondary schooling nowadays).  I had this weird feeling (I have learned to trust them) that the kids would not be going back.  Teri and got new desks, I upped our home network to gigabit speed and wiring, and we made an area to be considered the “school” for the kids.  We also made an office area for Teri, assuming that her school would be following not too long after.  We really put a lot of thought into this.  I didn’t want the kids to be lying around on the couch taking school.  I wanted to make sure there was some sort of discipline.  Teri and I would not be able to watch them all day, but I knew that creating a physical structure to their day would help with their mental/educational structure.  Of course, it was met with some resistance from the kids, but in the long run, it worked out.  I have a home office downstairs, but it just did not seem practical for me to be down there all day and Teri trying to work upstairs, so I moved into the “schoolhouse” with the kids.  I must admit, it was fun hearing them on a daily basis.

Things went well for a month or two, then quarantine fatigue sank in.  We were all getting a little antsy and short with each other.  I was also the first to have a birthday in this new world, and I will be honest.  It sucked.  We have had a recent tradition of going to Shady Maple (again, if you are not from PA, Google it).  With the restaurants, and specifically buffets being closed, there was no way this was happening.  We also haven’t seen our family at this point for 2 months.  That concept is mind-blowing since my parents live 3 houses away and Teri’s side of the family is at most 10 minutes away.  We did have some touching moments where my mom or grandmother would walk down and wave to the kids through our bay window.  It seems so silly when I think about it, but those moments really did help us to get through the first phase.

The first phase (Jan – May) did not come without heartache.  We lost Teri’s grandfather, Jack.  It still is hard to think about, knowing that we could not be there during the final moments and that we were unable to have a proper service for someone who really deserved to have his life celebrated.  We also had weddings we could not attend.  The best was made of them, using technology like Zoom and Facetime, but as we all know, it is not the same.

The summer was uneventful.  We made one trip to the beach house, but with everything closed or limited, it did not seem worth it.  Also, there was a rash of violence at the beach this summer.  I am not sure what people had expected.  You had the younger generation being pent up for months, losing their school and sports and ability to do things.  You then add in the lack of supervision on a beach trip and alcohol.  It was pretty much destined to happen from the start.  I can say that as 2020 is about to close in less than 9 hours, this is the first year ever (maybe age 1-5 is missing) that my feet have not touched an ocean or a beach.  We also opted to roll over our season passes to Hershey Park to 2021, so that has not been experienced either.  Ironically, this summer is full of fun little memories.  Memories and events that may not have happened or been important if everything would have been “normal”.  I spent a lot of days at my parents’ pool with my kids.  We ate around the table a lot more.  Most importantly, I got to see my kids grow up in real-time.  I also got to watch my oldest daughter fall in love with the sport I fell in love with at her age: outdoor volleyball.  I got to be volleydad all summer and set the tent up and watch her play on the same fields, in the same tournaments, that I did.  There was something very Lion-king about that.

We then transitioned into phase three (or the fall).  We decided that we would let the kids decide what they wanted to do when it came to school.  We did not want to pressure them, and my goal was to make sure they were in the best mental health spot they could be.  The two youngest (5^th and 2^nd grade) decided to return to the classroom.  They missed their friends, and honestly, I don’t think they really grasp the entire COVID thing.  The oldest opted to stay remote.  She has not had the easiest time adjusting to middle school, so I think that had as much to do with it as anything else.  All three are doing well, considering, and my main goal is accomplished.  They are all in a pretty good place mentally.  Obviously, the fall is dominated by politics.  The only thing I can really say on a personal level is that none of this was unexpected to me.  From the replacement of RGB to the election.  Every sign of how this was all going to (and still is) playing out was there.  I am getting on a pulpit and saying what is right or wrong in my eyes.  I am simply saying that is any of this took you by surprise, you were not paying attention.  I would close out this year earning my seconds master’s in science degree and prepping for my Ph.D. coursed in August of 2021.  As I close out 2020 on the personal side of things, it certainly has been a year of ups and downs, gains and losses, but so has every year.  It is the fact that we are all so interconnected now (and in real-time) does it feel a lot harder because of the shared burden we have with others.  I have lost family members before.  I have been broke before.  Yet, they all seem harsher now, due to the shared burden.  That is the curse that goes with the blessing of being more connected to the people around us.  One of the positives of this year is that I am helping my family’s business more now, and I get to work 2 days a week in the same office as my father.  We are pretty far apart on the political spectrum on some things, but we have some really great discussions.  I also get to see my mom there.  So it is a little bit of sanity (who would have thought) in an insane time.

I guess I will wrap up this part of the SOTU address by talking briefly about my fight with COVID-19.  For those who do not know, I woke up the day after Thanksgiving with no sense of smell or taste.  I had a slight fever (101) and felt achy and just “blah”.  The loss of the senses was obviously the part that unofficially confirmed it for me.  Being a holiday weekend, I knew this would not be ideal.  We called my doctor’s service and the on-call doctor pretty much said “yeah, it sounds like you have it.  We can’t get you in until Monday to test.  So, isolate yourself until then”.  I basically was regulated to the bedroom.  Do you want to talk about a time that sucks?  I could hear my whole family watching TV, laughing, having dinner, yet could not be there for it.  I had to watch my wife sleep on the couch because I was sick.  The worst part?  I laid there EVERY SINGLE NIGHT wondering two things:

1. Did I just give this to my family, especially my grandmother who I ate with on Thanksgiving?
2. Is tonight the night I wake up and can’t breathe and need to go to the hospital?

That is what ran through my head every single night.  Which is made worse by insomnia that COVID brings.  I also wish I could tell you how bad the fatigue is.  There is literally no way for me to describe it that would do it justice.  I can’t imagine if I had a severe case of it.  I ended up losing 20 pounds in 8 days.  A lot of that had to do with no desire to eat what I can’t taste.  It was just too “weird”.  So here I am, typing this exactly one month from my positive test.  This is where I stand:

• The insomnia is still there. I sleep about 4 hours total a night, in 2-hour sections.
• I can’t walk more than 10 yards without getting winded and a huge bump in heart rate.
• I have tinnitus non-stop, so I basically wear headphones and play music 24-7.
• While I have a sense of taste back, things do not taste the same. Nothing is “vivid” from a flavor sensation point.
• I can’t taste orange soda. I only mention this because of how weird it is.  I can taste orange, orange ice-cream, and all other sodas.  No matter the brand, no matter fountain or bottle, all orange soda tastes like seltzer water to me.
• My joints ache. Even with my arthritis and gout meds, my joints still ache.  It is not debilitating, but more of just an annoying ache.
• I have nightmares every night. This one does not surprise me.  My whole life, when I would start to get sick, I would always dream and have mostly nightmares.  Now I just have them every night.  Thankfully they are not terrifying, but they are never pleasant.
• My memory is not there. This is a twofold thing.  The first is the recall.  I have a hard time recalling recent events (post-COVID).  I also have a much harder time organizing my thoughts.  This whole blog/podcast has been a challenge, to say the least.

So, there you have my post-COVID list of issues.  In the grand scheme, I am lucky.  I am alive and none of this seems to permanent or if they are super life altering.

Now on to the bigger picture and the State of the Universe.

I know I am going to catch a lot for this but…The state of the universe is not that bad.  I am not saying that there aren’t a lot of people hurting and suffering right now.  Far from it.  There are a lot of people who are carrying a lot of pain and uncertainty with them.  The reason I say that the state of the universe is not that bad is that there are still options.  We have not run out of ways to make things better, ways to fight, ways to turn things around.  We are not truly hopeless.

It is not going to be easy to fix bridges, mend fences, and support one another.  There are a lot of reasons why we are where we are today.  I am not just talking about this moment in time.  I am taking the slow march that has gotten us here.  It all comes down to a single concept for me.  We are afraid to be uncomfortable.  I can give you a few examples:

• “I don’t want to talk about the shortcoming of my kid’s athletic ability, so we are quitting this team and going elsewhere”
• “I don’t agree with the companies’ policies, so I am quitting and starting my own business.”
• “I do not agree with your political party’s view, so I am going to scream my views louder”

Something that Patrick Lencioni said in his book “The Five Dysfunctions of a Team” really stuck with me.  That point was “commitment doesn’t mean consensus”.  We forget that we do not have to agree to still work together.  The minute we begin to feel uncomfortable, we walk away.  Think about how many kids quit a team because they know they can just hop on another one?  Look how much easier it is now to start a company than it was 10 years ago.  We have made everything in life easier to walk away from instead of making it easier to work with.  When you add the lacking ability to be uncomfortable to the inability to engage in civil rhetoric, we have trouble.  It has taken me a long time to have the ability to embrace discomfort when dealing with people or situations.  What I have found is that once I had learned to embrace it, my stress levels went way down.  The other key to that, however, is knowing the other parties are not on that same level.  We all have those people around us that are truly interested in the debate and discussion.  We also have those around us that are only in the discussion to try and “catch” you or to try and show some level of superior knowledge.  I try to really avoid politics in the social media world, but we have a prime example of this failure by both parties in front of us right now.  I would like to go on record before we begin and say I am a registered independent, and I lean more left of social policy and more right on fiscal policy.  I have voted for both parties in every election since 1992, at all levels.

There is obviously are large fight going on right now over the legitimacy of our election.

Disclaimer!!!!  This part may seem like I am a bit unfair with one side of the aisle over the other.  Please know that both are on my #meh list.  It just happens that one side is a bit more vocal right now, and easier to use as an example.

The problem is that those “in charge” do not have the ability to be uncomfortable and lack the skill in the area of rhetoric to really create change.  Instead of looking for ways to work towards solutions, they (politicians) are being loud as they can to get their point out.  Here are some points that stick out to me:

• Since the dawn of elections and votes, there has been and will always be cheating, fraud, and deception
• Do I think there was fraud in the 2020 elections?   Yes.  Albeit rather small, and not enough to change the outcome.  I am also aware that there were some legitimate cases caught (voting with dead relatives’ info, etc.)
• Do I think there was deception in the 2020 elections? Without a doubt. From states changing the rules, illegal drop boxes put out, to closing/moving polling places.  I think this had a much larger effect on the election than anything, but it is not fraud (well, the dropbox thing may be…)
• Do I think the political parties would have switched sides of their argument if the election results different? 100% positive on this.  We have heard both sides say “well, the (insert opposite party) would have done it if they could.

Why is this happening?  It is because those involved (and making the most noise) are subject to biases and fallacies.  Many probably do not even know what they are doing.  Hell, most people following them do not know they are doing it.  That is where the problem lies.  We, as a society, are afraid to be uncomfortable and lack the skill of rhetoric to challenge other people in a meaningful, respectful, and productive way.  Here are some of the biases and fallacies that are currently on display across most social media:

• The Texas Sharpshooter – this is when people cherry-pick data to suit their argument, yet leave out the entire body of work, which may reach a different conclusion. This was on a recent display with a post going around about the total vote count in PA being higher than registered voters.  The data was not only taken out of context, the graphic even said it was incomplete…In the small print…
• The middle ground – this one is my personal favorite. Saying that the compromise between two sides is the best solution.  Again, this goes back to not willing to be uncomfortable.
• The burden of proof – Saying that the burden of proof doesn’t lie with the accuser, but that of the accused. I don’t feel I need to post an example, because that is pretty obvious.
• Tu quoque – Avoiding having to engage with criticism by turning back on the accuser. This is politics 101 basically
• Confirmation Bias – This is the most common on my list. You favor, follow, and dedicate time to the things that already fit your beliefs.  “I have found these 20 articles that support my claim.  Ignore those over 150 studies”.  Masks anyone?
• Groupthink – Self-explanatory. Conflict can be uncomfortable, so the loudest/most confident usually get the following
• Belief bias – If a solution or theory supports your already established feelings, you will rationalize it to no end.
• In-group bias – you favor those who are in your own groups. Voting for someone because they were a popular athlete or coach is a great example.

Here is the thing.  I have them, you have them, everyone has them.  The key is knowing that you have those biases and fallacies embedded in you.  This is what makes politicians dangerous.  Not only do they have biases as well, but they KNOW you do and how to use them.  Don’t worry, they are not the only ones.  They just happen to be in the hotseat.  I am not going to lie.  It is very hard to looks deep into your own soul and see what you may have a bias against or for.  Until you do, you will continue to make decisions based on biases (good or bad) and not the facts of the situation.  I want you to do something very simple for me right now.  I want you to think of the ways we group people.  Athletes, Teachers, Military, Veterans, Doctors.  We instantly have images of what those people represent, traits they may have, their beliefs.  I have no doubt in my mind that if I created two candidates on a webpage for election and made everything exactly the same in their bios (background, qualifications, age, etc) but one was Dr. Jones and the other was Mr. Jones, the one with Doctor would get more votes.  Please don’t flame me.  I am not saying doctors, military, teachers, etc are bad or anything at all.  I am simply saying we grow up with a bias of certain things and that drives us.  We have a profile of people in certain fields and professions before we even met the actual person.

This is where the 2020 State of the Universe ends with the role of social media and technology.  Social media, by design, reinforces these biases.  We typically do not go out looking for new friends who are opposite of us, have different tastes than us, or have different views than us.  You know what I am going to say.  That is because it makes us uncomfortable.  Social media knows it, politicians know it, business owners know it, and those who just want to see the world burn know it.  We can try and break out of our shell all we want, but until we really look deep at ourselves and see our biases, will we know how to break out.  Are you following something or someone because you are truly aligned in beliefs and purpose, or are you following them because they are catering to your biases?

The problem is not the current administration.  The problem is not the incoming administration.  The problem is not our politicians.  The problem is not our scientists.  The problem is in us.  We are afraid to look deep in ourselves for fear of what we may actually find.  You may find you are something you do not want to be.  You may find something you want to change.  You may find something you didn’t know was there.  The key is you found something.  That is my challenge to everyone for 2021.

MAKE YOURSELF UNCOMFORTABLE.

Do not reflect on yourself.  Reflect IN yourself.

I will end with the tradition of my top 5 lists for the year (in no order):

Five books I read and loved in 2020

1. The Shallows – Nicholas Carr (This is my #1 book of the year)
2. Who Moved my Cheese – Dr. Spencer Johnson
3. Dark Data – David Hand
4. Patient H.M. – Dr. Luke Dittrich
5. The Motive – Patrick Lencioni

Five podcasts to follow in 2021

1. The ESOP podcast with Bret Keisling
2. The Tim Ferriss Show
3. At the Table with Patrick Lencioni
4. My History Can Beat Up Your Politics
5. The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish

Five new things I am going to do in 2021

1. Eat squid
2. Learning to write left-handed
3. Shooting a gun (strange, I have never done this)
4. Write 100 thank you cards for various things
5. Publish my book of quarantine haikus

Well, everyone, that is a wrap for this year’s State of the Universe.  I hope Tom Berwager would have been proud of this post.  It was a little mixture of personal and a little bit of learning…

Be kind, love much, and don’t suck!

My official tags for 2021 are #DontSuck #BeAVerb #Uncomfortable

Photo credit: New infrared image of the Tarantula Nebula from the Spitzer Space Telescope.
The combined images from two different infrared wavelengths show fine details not seen in visible light.
Image via NASA/ JPL-Caltech.