As coaches, we’re used to pushing athletes to overcome adversity, build resilience, and work through the tough times. But there are moments when the most important thing we can do is letting go. Not all battles are worth fighting, and not all players are meant to continue on the same path forever.
The tough reality is that sometimes, a player needs to step away from a sport, not because they’re giving up, but because it might be the healthiest choice for their well-being. This isn’t about failure. It’s about understanding when letting go is the best option for both the player and the coach.
The Conversation
Letting a player quit is never easy, especially if you believe in their potential. But there’s no magic formula for how to handle these conversations. The most important thing is to listen. Hear their reasons without judgment and validate their feelings. Often, players just need a safe space to express themselves and the emotional weight they’ve been carrying.
If a player has reached a point where they’re considering quitting, this is not the time for a lecture or to convince them to stay. Instead, it’s a moment to ask them what they’re feeling. Is it burnout, a lack of passion, or just a desire for something new? The answers might surprise you. Sometimes it’s not that they’re tired of the sport; it’s that they’re not getting what they need from it anymore. In these moments, letting go can be a pathway to their growth, both in sports and in life.
You can read more about this in my previous blog, How I Grew to Resent the Sport I Love, which delves into the emotional toll burnout can take on an athlete and why stepping away can sometimes be the healthiest choice.
Finding the Balance
As coaches, we need to balance our desire to keep athletes in the game with the understanding that their mental and emotional health is far more important than their athletic performance. And sometimes, the best thing you can do is support their decision to step away. Not every athlete is going to play forever, and it’s okay for them to discover that for themselves.
But what if the player’s decision to quit is rooted in temporary frustration or challenges they haven’t been equipped to handle? This is where you can help. Offer them space to talk, guide them to resources, or even connect them with others who might help them navigate their feelings. Helping them work through these moments can sometimes prevent them from letting go when they might be on the brink of overcoming a challenge.
The Parent’s Role
Sometimes, the decision to quit isn’t entirely up to the athlete. Parents play a crucial role, too. If you’re a parent reading this, it’s vital to understand the mental aspect of the game as much as the physical one. Supporting a child through their decision to quit, or stick with it, requires a lot of emotional awareness.
Letting Them Go
In some cases, the decision to quit will be the right one, and your role as a coach is to respect it. That doesn’t mean giving up on them as a person. It means giving them the space they need to find their own path. It’s a tough but important lesson for both players and coaches alike.
After all, the goal is to help them grow—whether it’s on the field, in their personal life, or wherever their journey takes them next. Sometimes the best way to help them grow is by letting go.
