I don’t know who needs to hear this, but yelling louder doesn’t actually make a ref change their mind. It also doesn’t make your athletes suddenly execute that play you’ve been drilling for weeks. But I get it—coaching is an emotional rollercoaster, and sometimes, the stress levels are off the charts. Whether it’s a crucial game, an uncooperative player, or a parent whose sideline behavior makes you reconsider your entire career, high-stress moments are inevitable. The question is: How do you keep your cool when everything around you feels like it’s on fire?
The Importance of Coach Composure
If you think your stress doesn’t affect your athletes, I’ve got bad news for you. Ever watched a team start unraveling after their coach lost their temper? It’s like a domino effect. Players take their cues from you, and if you’re panicking, yelling, or turning an interesting shade of red, they’ll mirror that energy.
A calm coach, on the other hand, creates an environment where athletes can focus, problem-solve, and stay confident even in high-pressure situations. Plus, let’s be honest—if you can keep your composure, you’ll make better decisions instead of impulsively subbing out your best defender just because they made one mistake.
How to Stay Zen When the Game is Anything But
Master the Art of the Deep Breath
Before you react, take a deep breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Give your brain a second to catch up before your mouth does something you’ll regret.
Pro tip: If your smartwatch reminds you to breathe, listen to it. It knows you better than you know yourself.
Develop a Sideline Routine
Just like athletes have pre-game rituals, coaches need their own routines to stay centered. Whether it’s pacing, holding a clipboard (even if you never write on it), or a lucky pen that you twirl between plays, find something that grounds you.
Some coaches chew gum. Others grip a stress ball. One coach I know taps their foot in a rhythm. Find your thing.
Embrace the Power of Non-Reaction
Not every bad call needs a dramatic response. If you react emotionally to every minor injustice, your team will too. Instead, practice the art of the poker face.
Ask yourself: “Will this still matter in five minutes? Five hours? Five years?” Most of the time, the answer is no.
Reframe Stress as Excitement
Your body doesn’t actually know the difference between nervousness and excitement—it’s all about how you label it. Instead of thinking, “This is stressful,” tell yourself, “This is an opportunity.”
Sounds cheesy? Maybe. But it works.
Use Humor as a Pressure Release Valve
Crack a joke. Laugh at the absurdity of the moment. (Within reason—maybe don’t joke about losing if your team is down 30.)
Humor keeps things in perspective and reminds everyone—including you—that this is just a game.
Control the Controllables
Can you change the ref’s decision? No.
Can you make the parents stop yelling? Not likely.
Can you adjust your game plan, encourage your players, and set the right example? Absolutely.
Focus your energy where it actually makes a difference.
Step Away if Needed
If you feel yourself reaching DEFCON 1 levels of stress, step back. Take a sip of water. Look at the sky. Do a slow exhale. Whatever you need to do to avoid becoming the next viral coaching meltdown on social media.
Reflect and Adjust Post-Game
After the game, take a few minutes to check in with yourself. What triggered you? How did you handle it? What could you do differently next time?
Coaching is just like playing—you get better with practice.
The Big Picture
At the end of the day, coaching is about leadership. And great leaders don’t just react; they respond with intention. Staying calm in high-stress moments isn’t just about looking cool on the sidelines (though that’s a bonus). It’s about creating a stable, supportive atmosphere where athletes can thrive. So the next time the ref makes a terrible call, your team is playing like they’ve never met a ball before, and you feel the frustration bubbling up—breathe. Smile. Remember why you’re here. And for the love of all things sports, don’t throw your clipboard. It’s expensive, and you’ll just have to buy another one.
Now go forth, coach, and keep your cool like a seasoned pro.
